Loss of a Loved One

10 march 2020

When our need and love of God weakens and we forget the First Commandment, we start worshipping the material world created by God instead of the Almighty himself. When we break the First and the Second Commandments it looks quite innocent at first – as the love for our loved ones looks innocent.

Every living organism has a love for God and this is a mighty force. Subconsciously our life goal is the unity with God, who is eternal. When we forget about the Creator, we move our full affection to the people who are closest to us. Then our loved one must become eternal, he or she cannot die, he ought to live forever for us to be happy.  He becomes our purpose and gives sense to our life.  Therefore when he cheats, lies and offends us or dies, we cannot accept it.

The pain of losing our happiness can bring us closer to God, or pull us away from Him, if we don’t accept the loss. The luck of acceptance is essentially a rejection of the Divine Will. The attachment to our loved one makes us worship him, and losing him will make us transgress. It may manifest as feeling of remorse about the past, depression, dissatisfaction with fate and a lack of desire to live. This will invoke a programme of self-destruction (which will be stopped by problems and illnesses).

When someone refuses to accept what has happened and has regrets about the past, then this person is trying to change what cannot be changed. This causes a massive wastage of energy which is damaging and must be stopped. Our body responds with physical illness. One woman could not accept her sister's premature passing and became ill with bad angina. Another pregnant woman grieved about the death of her relative. She could not accept the loss and gave birth to a sick child. A young woman couldn’t bear the death of her brother and ended up in a psychiatric hospital. Despair, depression, the lack of the desire to live can also cause infertility.

How to cope with the death of our loved ones?

First of all, we must understand that there is nothing final and Divine is infinite. We have a Divine essence and the Divine part of us will never cease to be because Divine love is infinite. Our soul exists in two modes: life in a body and life without it. Death is not the opposite to life, it is a barrier, a gate to another state. When a child is little he cannot believe that death is the end of everything because little children perceive the world by their feelings, and in the case of a soul, death doesn’t exist. Besides, there are many accounts of the afterlife world from people who had clinical death. These testimonies are impossible to ignore.

 Logically, we must admit that a human has many lifetimes. The soul is not something disposable because it must evolve from life to life. Without evolution, the sin could not be overcome and people would not need to develop. If sin removes a person from God, it would mean that some people would not be able to return to Him. In this case, there must be a zone where the Divine is powerless. Furthermore, it appears this zone is growing as people are sinning more which would suggest that God could be losing to the devil. But this absurdity can be believed only by those who think that they live only one life.

Even if humankind is extinct one day, the World Soul, that is part of everything that is alive on the Earth, will continue to exist and evolve in other conditions on other planets in the Universe. The total end of all, absolute death is real only at the outer, physical level. For the soul it is just another form of existing, a step in evolution.

Secondly, on the subtle non-physical levels of existence, the dead and alive are never fully apart.  Our soul continues to communicate with the dead loved ones. However, we do not know about it and cannot perceive it because our conscious mind can suffer if we knew about this communication.

Thirdly, we will never know what caused the death of our loved one. There may be many reasons. We will never understand the Divine plan or get a full picture of this world. This will happen only after returning to our Father. There will always be the unknown and unexplainable things, which may seem unjust to our human mind. We must simply accept them as the Divine will. As it has previously been said: “God has taken what belongs to Him”.

Possibly the time had run out for a person to be in this life, and he must be born again in a couple of years somewhere else. This scenario has already been written of. In Judaism it is considered that the presence of certain pure souls in the otherworld [the realm of the dead] is a necessity in order to help people on the Earth. Therefore they can be taken from this world to serve this purpose.

It seems that there is nothing more tragic and unjust than the death of children. Most often the reason for this arises from the parent. When the First Commandment is broken, the energy of love flow, which nurtures everything, dwindles. This results in the future for that person falling apart where his children are lifeless and demise becomes imminent.

The biblical parable about Job describes the situation of a man who seems to be a saint at first glance. However he committed sins but was not aware of them. To an average man the signs and warnings are not shown, he simply loses his descendants and his bloodline ends. But those who aspire for God's love will be given sufferings in order to cleanse his soul, so his descendants whose souls have undergone purification can be reborn in this or the next lifetime.

Sometimes parents commit serious transgressions and their erroneous mindset becomes too dangerous for a child with a pure soul. Nature is wise and the death of the child in this life will enable his successful development in the next.

After the death of the body, the soul first goes to the afterlife world where during 40 days it undergoes preparations for moving into another dimension. This process is extremely important. The more love in the soul of the deceased — the faster and more effective this process of transformation.

After the demise of a person, we keep in touch with him on subtle levels. To some degree we can help him to assist this passage, or do harm, because the emotions of the alive can be passed onto the soul of a dead. Therefore, in the tradition of mourning it was not accepted to suffer and grieve too much, or to enjoy life – because grief and pleasure are the rivals of love. The first kills love and the second makes us forget love.

The soul of the dead must go through detachment whilst retaining love. Our personal love and aspiration for God can help the soul of a dead to a great extent. That’s why if the relatives of the deceased person go through detachment, fast and abstain for 40 days, it will help his passage. And on the contrary feelings of despair, regrets and depression will harm the soul of the deceased and immobilise it.  For this reason it is very important to overcome those emotions. Our harmonic inner state will help our loved one much more than any rituals.

Suffering must make us turn to love, and only love can help us in suffering. When the outer shell crumbles, we should rely on the content, because it includes the current form and the future form simultaneously. The core content of the Universe is love for God.

If the pain of the loss doesn’t go away with time it means that we do not perceive the death of our loved one correctly. We cannot reject life because of our loss. Avoiding pleasure can help in the short term only. We must be happy in our life and at the same time try to overcome our attachment to happiness through soul-work. We are here to live, enjoy, get closer to God and  improve ourselves.

The soul of the dead must dis-attach itself from the body, therefore a luxurious grave and taking too much care of it will do the opposite: it will attach the soul to this world and slow its progress through different planes that follow life on this earth.  We can care for the grave, bearing in mind that the main purpose for our visits — is to pass on the warmth we feel towards our loved one. This feeling will help his soul. And if we feel this warmth to our loved one then the visits to the grave will not mean so much because there is no person in the grave. The body is deceased and the soul is gone. Thinking otherwise is a pagan mindset.

We are born on the Earth and leave it by God’s will. God is always there to help us, but He saves his love above everything else because humans are that love.  The core of a human being is a part of the Creator and outside he is dressed in the clothes of a soul, spirit and the body. Neither our own death nor the death of our loved ones can be a reason for rejecting love. Quite the opposite, illnesses and death turn us to  love.

Everything in the world works towards being with God, to unite and increase love in the soul. Our body, spirit and the outer layers of the soul are not eternal, only God is eternal. Our Divine “self” which is the core of our soul, is eternal too. The outer layers of the soul will eventually fall like the leaves in autumn. Many people who experienced clinical death found that their fears, regrets and sufferings 'disappeared in smoke' and their souls were filled with light and happiness. In reality, suffering happens when our Divine “self” is stuck to the soul, spirit and the body. Therefore, the way to release sufferings, to help the soul and souls of your loved ones – dead and alive alike, is to get back to the Divine “self” and accept its priority.  

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