A family is the union of a man and a woman, the purpose of which is the birth and upbringing of children. All the world's religions assisted with the creation and development of the family. The family is the primary unit of the state. If the family is destroyed, the state becomes non-viable. If cells die, the body will die sooner or later.The true meaning of any relationship between a man and a woman is to develop the soul and increase love.
A family becomes a strong unit when a husband and wife help each other to love and purify the soul. Spouses should help each other overcome their dependence on instincts and turn animal energy into human and Divine. The birth of children is a powerful factor in the development of the soul of a parent. A small child can give nothing but love and needs physical, mental and spiritual care. Parental love is unconditional and enables human logic to turn into the Divine. A parent with many children gives them more love, attention and care. Such a family is essentially a school of love.
The family is born and our concept of family begins with the subtle energies of the subconscious. Long before meeting in real life, the souls of potential spouses meet on another level and the scenario of their future is created. As soon as we enter puberty, unbeknown to our mind, we begin our search for a life partner and how to meet them.
Starting a family requires a lot of energy, because the family is primarily self-sacrifice, care of others and pain, and to deal with this, a person must have a lot of energy. If somebody wants to receive rather than give — their family won’t last. A woman in particular: if she wants to receive but not to give — it is quite dangerous because a future mother must give love and take care of her children. The family fate depends on the woman as ultimately her energy will keep the family together or cause it to break down.
Many women are unlucky in finding a partner — why? If a woman cannot forgive a man, if her future descendants on a subtle plane are disharmonious, she stands little chance of having a family. Before the birth of any children, there must be a cleansing of the soul, and if a woman cannot accept pain, it will make all her problems worse. Therefore, she will be spared purification and will not be able to start a family. This is the universal law.
A happy family is based on friendship between parents which is much more important than the physical side. This is because sex is a manifestation of instincts, and friendship is a feeling of warmth in the soul, it is unconditional love. A relationship based on the sexual attraction will not last long. When sex life wanes, there will be cheating, and the marriage will end. On the contrary, a friend is someone you can rely on, who you can trust and share life's difficulties. A true friend will not hesitate to help, share the last piece of bread and won't be selfish and hysterical in a critical moment. The more love and warmth that exists between a husband and wife, the stronger their friendship – and the less dependency there will be on the sexual side of the relationship.
Contrary to a popular belief, sexual compatibility is the main reason for divorce, because when a couple enjoys sex and basks in satisfaction — it makes them forget about God. Accordingly, attachment and aggression grows, which inevitably leads to breakups and the birth of ill children.
The main reasons behind breakups are:
— Inability to resolve conflicts. Conflicts are not evil; they allow growth and development. A happy family is a family where conflicts are resolved in a productive way.
-Inability to compromise. When a husband or wife think themselves right all the time and fight for dominance – this family is doomed. If a person is not ready to change, try to be a better person or try to compromise, if he or she cannot forgive and sacrifice – then letting them go will be the best decision.
In order to keep a friendly and warm atmosphere in relationships, spouses need to care about each other, to uphold unity and say compliments to each other. Husband and wife are united on a subtle level through their children. Subsequently, if one spouse starts drowning — he will pull another spouse down.
Therefore, to be a happy family each spouse must be caring about their partner's happiness just as he or she cares for themselves… Husband or wife must strive to make a partner happy – just as they do for themselves. If this balance of two opposites is in place- which is possible through love — then such a family will be happy. If there is a lack of love, then the relationship will suffer. A person may become selfish and stomp on another, or they become a “victim” and stomp on themselves.
Cheating happens when a husband or wife is too dependent on their instincts. This is when they are lead by lust and immorality. It happens because of a lack of culture unity in the family, the wrong attitude to conflicts and an inability to compromise. Accumulated negativity ruins the positive feelings and harms communication. Often the reason behind searching for a new lover is a desire to experience long lost joy, soul pain and awaken the feeling of love.
Cheating also happens when one of the partners is too attached to their relationship, when he or she worships his spouse. The stronger such attachment – the bigger the aggression that results in cheating and love triangles which form as a way of detachment.
Love and joy which we feel for our loved one helps us in our development. The more energy and love we give — the easier it becomes to be closer to God and feel unity with Him. In order to avoid the trap of attachment to the loved ones which kills souls, we must keep an inner space. Like the leaves of the tree – they do not fuse one into another but feel their unity through the roots.
To stay in love and be happy is possible for those, who give their first and strongest feelings of love to God. This is reflected in the Church wedding ceremony where love and the focus of their energy must first be directed to God, and subsequently – to family, children, and only thereafter – towards sexual satisfaction.
A woman can forget about God in her attraction for the loved one. Naturally, a women has a strong desire to focus on her spouse, family and relationships and therefore there is a temptation to forsake the Creator. Sometimes a married woman seeks sexual satisfaction elsewhere because she doesn’t get it from her husband. Often, the husband does not provide sexual satisfaction to his wife because souls of their children are disharmonious which endangers their lives. If a child is in danger to save him the mother must be suppressed in her earthly desires. And the father intuitively switches on the most powerful mechanism of humiliation connected to sexuality. By seeking pleasure elsewhere a woman aggravates her children’s situation. The answer to her problem is not trying to find sexual satisfaction but to seek true happiness which is only possible through painful self-transformation in a quest to be a better person and compromise in relationships.
Many marriages fall apart just when long-desired prosperity and stability are achieved. Psychologists cannot explain this. The reason is: difficulties unite us and make us work on relationships by taking care of each other and giving our energy – in other words, difficulties awake love. That’s why young couples are better off living separately from parents.
If family life makes a person more aggressive — then for the sake of love it is better to lose such a relationship. The most difficult – and most rewarding way – is to love and work on relationships by changing and adapting the self and the partner.
Through our love for God we can change our soul and transform our personality, which allows us to have happy family lives and relationships.