We must understand that we are Divine, that love cannot be refused under any pretext. We need to learn to resolve conflicts whilst remaining good-natured. Here is an important point.
There are 5 levels of interaction.
1. The first level — you are offended, you want revenge, and often the revenge is out of proportion. This is a normal reaction for a pagan who wants to avenge in disproportion to the original offence and ultimately to destroy his offender.
2. The next level is Judaism. Judaism forbids hate and vengeance. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. That is, if a person offended you, you must punish him appropriately that is in proportion to the offending act. This was a huge breakthrough in the development of human relations and the development of conflict.
This was followed by Christ who spoke of further models of behaviours [which should be used depending on the level of a person’s development]. He says “do not mark beads in front of pigs”. That is, when it is useless to convince people and they need “eye for an eye and tooth for tooth” – [Christ echoes the Judaism level].
3. The next level [according to Christ]– you warn the person three times but if the person does not want to change and does not want to understand, then you can punish him.
4. The next level [according to Christ] is when you forgive a person seven times a day.
5. The last level [according to Christ] – is the need to forgive“seventy times seven”. What does this mean? It means simply the extent to which we hold love in our soul determines how much we can change other people through this love. If this feeling of love is stable, we will see the causes of problems in ourselves and not in others. The more we see problems as our responsibility, the more we will believe that the problem is in us. This will be an impetus for development. The less we blame others, the more we are open to love and development.
Therefore to find your level from one of the five is quite simple. If you are seeing a problem occurring more in others than in yourself, then you will slip to the first level. If you forgive and realise that if someone offended you means that your inner state allowed this to occur. This is an opportunity for change and development. Ultimately, when a person progresses to a higher level, gradually he begins to see the Divine Will in everything. As God cannot be hated you need to respond to everything with love and humility. At the same time there is naturally a conflict on the external level, there will be a need to protect yourself and try to transform the world around you. The focus will be on transformation and not destruction of what we do not like.
Therefore, when we no longer look for the guilty party and are ready to understand that everything depends on us, then grudges against others will disappear. When we use the problem not to avenge, punish or condemn the other, but to forgive, then a desire to develop ourselves will appear. Where there are problems, there are opportunities for development. One of the main conditions is — learn to resolve conflicts when they occur and learn to keep the feeling of love no matter what. You need to feel the Divine Will in everything that happens. The extent to which this sense of love is stable and unconditional determines the energy that results and the depth of our personal development.
Why? Because when profound changes take place without love, the result is destruction. A person is unable to change if he doesn’t feel love in his heart. The devil cannot change. But a person can. In order to get closer to God, we must be prepared to change. And without love, this is impossible.