How to Cope with Stress

The phrase «relax, everything will be fine» is unlikely to calm a person who is on the verge of a breakdown. Rather, it will further increase scepticism and indignation. It is especially difficult to pull yourself together, not fall into despair and stabilise your emotions, when tragic events occur. It forces you to replace the real picture of the world with illusions. They may help to cope with stress in the here and now, but in the long run they will pull the rug out from under your feet and spoil your life. These thinking traps force you to postpone solving problems and end up quarrelling with loved ones, and looking to the future pessimistically.

When we are in a state of anxiety, our perception of reality is distorted. A person will see what is happening through the prism of fear and will find confirmation of a «terrible future» in any event which transpires. This makes it difficult to objectively assess the situation and increases a feeling of confusion, helplessness and the inability to protect ourselves from threats. Stress closes you up from the inside. We get used to stress: we work hard, we take on more and more obligations. But what happens to the soul at the moment that stress strikes? In an effort to appear better, we run away from our real feelings. We ignore our feelings as we don't know how to live them. We push them deeper and deeper inside us. And when we are in a stressful state, we get agitated more and more quickly. Any trivial thing upsets us, like touching skin that has already been sunburned. Pressing the «stress button» triggers dangerous reactions.

Emotions come as uninvited guests. At first, discontent appears on the doorstep, followed by irritation, anger, fury and rage. This «delegation» of our feelings quietly poisons our life and ruins our relationships with loved ones. The more severe our emotional state, the weaker a person's control and the more aggressive he behaves. When he becomes angry, a person reminds himself who he is. Get angry and everything will become clear. It is useless to fight rage and affect, it is difficult to fight anger and fury, but it is much easier to fight discontent. Especially when we understand that the basis of discontent is a rejection of the situation, i.e. the rejection of God's Will. When stress strikes, we react with one of the options familiar from childhood. There are three of them in total – fight, flight or freeze. What is the result? We have grown up, but the reactions to losses and traumatic situations are still the same?!

Sergey Nikolaevich recommends taking any crisis or change in a situation as another opportunity given to us from above, to strengthen our faith, hope and love. Imagine going on a trip: arriving in a new place and starting a new life. It is important to develop the habit of turning the impulse of despair into a desire to grow. Learning to control yourself in order to stop floundering helplessly at the broken sail of life. The first reaction to any event should be an outburst of love, reverence for the Creator and acceptance of His will.