The Last Few Years I Have Been Saying That Learning to Properly Relate to Your Past is Only the First Stage of Self-Education
You must be able to conflict not only with the past but also with the future.
The rules for resolving conflict are essentially outlined in the commandments.
- «Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.»
This means that in any situation, you must keep love in your heart.
In everyday terms, this means treating your husband with understanding, compassion, warmth, and care.
Every situation is given by God for the salvation of our souls; therefore, we must maintain love and gratitude to God in our hearts no matter what.
- «Do not make for yourself a graven image.»
This means that internally, you must be free and not depend on your husband, not worship or become attached to him inside.
Without subconscious love for God, you will not survive, but without your husband, believe me, you will manage somehow.
When we turn away from God, our love turns into attachment, lust, and passion.
Attachment gives rise to fear of loss, judgment, and despondency.
Your family life is a play in which you must play your role well.
- «Do not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.»
This commandment states that you must treat God with respect.
In every person, including your husband, you should see the image of God.
Value your mutual warm feelings, do not reproach your husband, do not judge him, and do not hold grievances inside.
Be as sincere as possible—your husband will appreciate it.
- «Remember the Sabbath day...»
Do not become attached to work or any other activity.
According to the canons of Judaism, one day a week—Saturday—is set aside to disengage from all tasks and dedicate time to prayer and communion with God.
In Christianity, it is believed that the main goal of a person is not related to earthly activities. The greatest happiness is faith in God, striving towards Him, uniting with Him, and becoming like Him.
The Vedas speak of the inadmissibility of attachment to any activity.
One of the strongest factors of attachment is the worship of the results of our activities.
How can we overcome this worship?
It is necessary to put love for God first.
Simply put, you need to learn to do what you do selflessly, without expecting any results—in this case, you subconsciously focus on love for God.
Try to find pleasure in caring for your husband without expecting fidelity, gratitude, money, attention, etc., in return.
Work is an opportunity to give energy and develop; your husband is an opportunity to give love and grow.
Nothing reduces internal aggression as effectively as selfless care for your husband.
Do not become attached to the results in your relationship with your husband.
Try to feel his state, experience compassion for him, and sympathize with him.
The problems of your child, as you mentioned, indicate both pride and jealousy.
Through your husband, the child is being treated for future misfortunes.
What should you do?
First, accept the pain from your husband. Second, learn to handle conflicts and improve your character.
You need to feel that you are a soul, not just a mind and body.
Do not put justice, principles, and ideals first; develop the reflex to care for others.
The first stage of your work on yourself: forgive the infidelities.
The second stage: change your character.
First, you need to develop traits such as kindness, patience, caring, sincerity, the ability to forgive, and self-sacrifice.
The third stage: overcome attachment.
The fourth stage: learn to love the world as a manifestation of the Divine, see the image of God in every person, that is, fulfill the first commandment.
The fifth stage: transformation of personality and the feeling of continuous presence of love in your soul.
Do you know what kind of wife husbands don’t leave?
A cheerful, energetic, kind, caring, and inwardly free one. Try to become that, and as you know, the journey is mastered by the one who walks it.
S. N. Lazarev, «Survival Experience, Part 7»
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