Common Mistakes in Self-Improvement and Overcoming Them

The appointment is technically over, but I can't immediately switch off from the mode. I keep recalling the main mistakes patients make in their self-improvement work. I recently spoke with a patient for whom my consultation didn't help.

«I feel terrible», she confessed over the phone. «It's like I'm going insane.»

«Let's start from the beginning. How many books have you read?»

«Five.»

«Why didn't you read the sixth?»

«Because I couldn't. I was fired from my job, there were a lot of troubles, and I thought I would get myself together by starting to read the sixth book, but instead, it made me feel worse.»

«Look at what you're doing», I explain to her. The information in my books is traumatic; it shakes up the foundations of human happiness at a subconscious level while also orienting towards Divine love.

You read the books, but you didn't want to change and work on yourself. You were fired, and you fell into despair, a self-destruction program, that is, renunciation of love for God. And if you have hatred towards God in your soul, how can you read about Divine love? If you couldn't read the book, you shouldn't have come for a consultation. Without the readiness to change, there's no point in attending a consultation. And the more stubbornly you persist in the wrong direction, the more painful it will be to turn around.

I'll repeat, if you haven't seriously started working on yourself, you have no business at a consultation. If you're ready to give up on aspirations towards God every second, falling into despair, fear, pessimism, and grievances, let your fate first help you find the right direction through illnesses, misfortunes, humiliations, and losses.

«Another mistake», I think. «A patient comes for a consultation, prays, hoping to get well, and the more they hope for recovery and pray for it, the more they make the future their goal, and prayers, love for God—a means to that end, and then at best, there will be no changes.»

If we do get that future, i.e., the health we hoped for, then the focus on the future increases tens and hundreds of times. Thus, love for God and prayer become means with a huge amplification. And then we must lose what detaches us from love for God. We lose the future. That means either our children will die, or we ourselves will. Therefore, at the moment when a person prays, they need to forget about their hopes, fears, and regrets.

I remembered a patient whose son was diagnosed with «autism», which was later retracted: «The first month», she said, «»I prayed, hoping and expecting my son to get well. I lived on this hope. A month, a month and a half passes, and I see a complete collapse, no changes. Then I started praying just because I felt such a need, and after some time, to my surprise, I noticed the child began to change. And two months later, this diagnosis was removed.»

The woman placed love for God above the future, and thus, above spirituality, which allows us to contact the future. And then the child began to see the future and the possibility of being spiritual.

*****

Another common mistake. The trials given to us as we move towards God must be endured with love, but we often fill ourselves with horror and despair. I recall a recent case. Parents brought their young daughter to me. Cancerous eye tumor. They visited the best clinics in the world and consulted with the best specialists. In Switzerland, they were told the eye needed to be removed. What would happen to the other eye? Unknown.

«You see the catastrophe externally», I explain to the parents, it comes from an internal catastrophe.

Your daughter is incredibly resentful and jealous internally. She absolutely cannot maintain love when they start purifying the souls of her children. I'm not even talking about the most lenient scenario—betrayal and offense from men. She absolutely cannot maintain love even in the face of illnesses and troubles. In such cases, usually death or incurable diseases, disability, or something similar occurs.

Learn to maintain love for God in any troubles and diseases, learn to thank God for offenses from people, teach the girl to love, pray, and forgive, then there will be changes. After half a month, they called:

«You know, our girl started having severe pains in her eye. Some liquid is starting to leak from the eye. Tell us what to do?»

If you start fearing now, fall into despair, and suppress love, I think no one can help you anymore.

A purification is happening, quite painful not only for your daughter but also for her children and grandchildren. And here you need to forget about fears, regrets, pessimism, grievances against yourself and fate. No fears and worries for the future. No regrets about the past. No despair and dissatisfaction with fate. No culprits. There is God and love, forget about everything else.

*****

I remembered another case of a common misconception. Many go through fire and water but break down at the copper pipes. That is, in moments of pain and suffering, they manage to maintain love, but when recovery comes, they forget about it. A girl diagnosed with «hemophilia» told me:

«You explained to me what's happening in the depths of my soul. I understood and felt how strongly I was focused on children, a loved one, family, and relationships. Every day I repeated that for me, my life, the birth of children, sexual relations, and family are means to accumulate love for God. I went through any situations where my human happiness could be destroyed, trying to maintain and increase love for God. I felt changes beginning in my soul, and then they started at the physical level. I had almost no platelets in my blood. And suddenly, out of nowhere, they appeared and in large quantities. I had the best blood tests in my life. And then, after some time, everything collapsed again, and all the platelets disappeared. I got hooked on recovery.»

«At the moment of recovery, you experienced an explosion of joy and love. But by inertia, it didn't turn into love for God but went towards your life and desires. Before that, your life and desires were oppressed by the disease so that, distancing from them, you could feel your true roots. Your crown became slightly more lush, and you immediately abandoned the roots. Therefore, the crown was trimmed again. When you learn to turn any human pleasure and enjoyment into love for God, then the suddenly surging human happiness, be it children, family, health, or well-being, will not kill the love in your soul and you along with it.»

We must give love and strive towards God every second. The more love we give, the more love we receive and even get more love than we give. And this difference between the love we receive and the love we give is spent on the development of our life, desires, and everything we call human happiness. If we don't give but want to take, then accordingly, twice, thrice more will be taken from us than we want, and this deficit will be the destruction of our fate, life, and desires.

*****

First, we learn to maintain love for God when we are ill, suffering, and dying, and then we learn to develop this love and aspire even more towards God when we recover and receive human happiness. Any event in the Universe leads us to God, losing and gaining we move in one direction. And the more we feel this main law of the Universe, the more we will feel that happiness which is eternal and which cannot be lost.

S.N. Lazarev, «Diagnostics of Karma», Book 7