Detaching from everything, stepping towards God

I've been familiar with your books for almost 7 years. I am one of those women you once wrote about, saying that a woman who doesn't overcome lust is a killer of her own children.

I always felt my internal discomfort, even before I was acquainted with your books.

Somewhere from the age of 5, traits started to appear: lustfulness, deceitfulness, base actions, theft.

Life brought me continuous humiliations, rape at the age of 20, poor academic performance, a late marriage.

I started reading your books in the first month of pregnancy. True, happy, and simultaneously infinitely painful purification and revival of my dead, withered soul began after the birth of my son, who has hydrocephalus.

For two years, the child hardly slept, and neither did I. The Lord did not abandon me and through my husband, mother-in-law, and child, showed that I needed to change.

I worked on myself, tried to accept God's Will, but constantly fell into hatred, irritation, resentment, and despondency.

I was a mother-killer because the lust inside me demanded that I kill my baby, leave my husband.

I was surprised myself - where did such absolute rejection of God's Will, excessive pride in my soul come from?

I was at a standstill, constant auto-training with acceptance of God's Will gave weak results, the pain of the soul was such that once I decided to resort to alcohol to somehow reduce this pain, but it didn't help.

I bought small balls for a children's pistol, poured them into socks, and wore them, slept on the floor, on a mattress. All this helped a little.

And only after you touched upon the topic of the soul, did I learn that there is Love, that a person who worships instincts cannot overcome pride and jealousy, because they constantly intertwine with each other.

I started learning to overcome dependence on them. I started with nutrition - I must say that I don't know how to starve until it works out.

I started doing breathing exercises in the morning. And pride began to be overcome little by little.

My son, from being resentful, aggressive, and whiny, began to transform into an affectionate and kind little boy.

I am infinitely grateful to God for giving us, all people, the opportunity to touch your works - they are priceless! I bow low to you!

Ten days ago, as I have already shared in the pages of this book, I had a conversation about a little child crying in the mornings.

Parents often ask why children sleep poorly, why they are too excitable, why they don't listen. In the West, hyperactive children are now silenced with pills. But the thing is, the child has the wrong internal direction.

If parents haven't overcome pride, the child's energy goes entirely to instincts. Then the child, without realizing it, begins to suppress others. They try to dominate and control everything around them, controlling through consciousness rather than feelings.

Overexcited consciousness not only causes poor sleep but also exhausts the nervous system. Attempting to completely control the situation leads to hysteria and irritability. Inner energy drops, and glands start working worse.
Pathological deviations in character inevitably lead to illness — it's just a matter of time. Many people, after reading my books, try to overcome pride. But they don't always understand that pride is not only a sense of superiority. It is the inability to sympathize with others, it is internal selfishness.

Often, for many, children become a burden, hindering a beautiful life, and then parents wonder why their children have spoiled character, poor health, relationships don't work out, why misfortunes pursue them.

The ability to make others happy, to care for loved ones, the ability to be cheerful and energetic — all this comes when there is strength and energy in the soul.

When we stop worshiping false idols, then instincts stop being our enemies and become our helpers in finding love. But for this, we need to take the first, main step - detach from everything, step towards God. Start hoping only for love and be ready to lose everything but keep love. Then our soul will revive.

P.S. And my granddaughter stopped crying and screaming in the mornings. Yesterday I asked my daughter if she cries or not. It turned out that she still wakes up early in the morning but no longer screams, just plays around and looks around. So, ten days have passed, and the positive dynamics remain. It's clear that the child inherited a lot of problems from the grandfather. But any problem is solvable, isn't it?

S.N. Lazarev, «Survival Experience. Part 5»

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