God saves those who come to Him
Dozens of notes lie before me on the table. Each note is a whole life. Suffering, illness, misfortune, death. And the cause of it all is one thing— the inability to love. Misplaced priorities, misunderstanding that the root of diseases and misfortunes is sin.
First, a person loses the need for God and love for Him. The person doesn't even notice it. Then he makes unnoticed deals with his conscience, although moral norms are seemingly not violated.
But love in the soul is infringed upon. One deal, then another, a third— and gradually the conscience becomes dull and silent.
Love has quietly departed, but pleasure remains. And the person tries to convince himself that he has only gained. The person doesn't yet feel that he has become a slave to desires, and now, if he falls in love, his feeling will quickly turn into attachment and passion. Now love will bring him not happiness, but indescribable torment.
But he doesn't know this yet. He doesn't suspect that he will flee from love, fearing suffering, and in doing so, will fall into even greater slavery, even stronger dependence on the body and consciousness.
He still doesn't understand that this is the path to nowhere. He doesn't realize that this is the slow destruction of children and grandchildren.
Because for now, through deals with the conscience, he only receives pleasures and enjoyment. For now, everything is fine with him.
But tomorrow he will commit an immoral act. Others, in general, may not notice it. After all, morality, external decency, is observed. But from now on, he will stubbornly cling to external decency and behave more and more immorally.
Moral transgression will inevitably lead to violations of administrative laws, and then— criminal ones. Perhaps, to avoid becoming a criminal and a murderer, he will fall seriously ill. Or his children will start suffering. There could be many variations; the end is the same.
I absentmindedly go through the notes. The situation in our country is quite complex. Lost in thought, I look out the window. The sky is blue and cloudless, the weather is beautiful. Overall, there's a promising trend.
Each of us must take care of our soul and save it. God saves those who come to Him—such miracles I have encountered repeatedly in my practice.
If a person returns to love and faith, he begins to save his soul and morality. The same miracle can happen to a nation and to a country.
I try to distract myself from these thoughts and switch to something else.
Recently, an interesting situation occurred.
My son (14 years old) has a heart defect (a small hole in the septum). We're not rushing to operate. We decided as a family (my husband, son, daughter, and I) to visit 9 temples.
In the temple, I didn't ask for anything, only prayed that for my son and for all of us, the highest happiness would be to love God and feel our unity with Him, to see God's will in any situation, and to learn to love.
A few hours after returning home, my son, playing with friends, hit his head against the wall and lost consciousness.
When he came to, he forgot a lot, spoke nonsense. My husband and I were very scared, we started scolding him and took him to the hospital.
In the car, my son complained that his hand was numb, then his cheek. I was in a panic.
But then I thought, «What am I doing? I'm drowning my child»!
I started praying, saying that I accept the situation completely, with love, gratitude, seeing in it God's will and an opportunity to feel that love for God is above all for me.
Even the possible death of my child, I will try to accept with love.
I appealed to my son's Guardian Angel and asked for help. I calmed down completely.
And then my son said that when he was unconscious, he saw Saint Matrona and other saints. They told him many things, but I can't retell them.
He said that now he will live differently than before, he told me about his sins (skipping Sunday school and trying to smoke).
He said that now he believes that God exists.
My son was admitted to the hospital with a diagnosis of «concussion». And also, for several hours, complaints and grievances were received from neighbors.
Three days later, my son was safely discharged from the hospital.
I can't understand what it was. Did I do something wrong, or after intensive prayer, all the «dirt» came out, and such a situation arose?
Did my son really see saints, or was it all his imagination?
When you began to pray, instead of death, your son received an injury. To save the soul, one must slow down what harms it. If it's the consciousness that led to immense pride, then a head injury occurs. For your son, pride had already turned into worship of the body, meaning jealousy, so the blockage was already in the final stage — the destruction of the septum. Then — death. When the soul stops functioning and pride is insurmountable, then suffering is given to the body, and then — decay.
In a normal situation, your son had no chance of survival. Prayer in the temple allowed the soul to revive and helped your son overcome dependence on body and spirit. And when the mother began to pray in the car on the way to the hospital, purification of the soul through love for God began. For a moment, the child's soul brightened. In sleep or unconsciousness, one can see saints only with a pure soul. The soul of your son opened up to God, and a sense of unity with Him arose.
But will the mother be able to maintain love and faith when her son recovers?
S.N. Lazarev, «Survival Experience. Part 2»
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