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18 october 2024

Happiness is not a goal, but a byproduct

And if the meaning of any situation is drawing closer to God, then neither illness nor death can make the situation hopeless.
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Happiness is not a goal, but a byproduct

I’ve been resting in Crimea for a few days now. Sauna, sea, billiards.

In the past, when I visited friends, the main pleasure was feasting. We could sit at the table for ten to fifteen hours. In the Soviet Union, a rich table, drinks, and socializing were considered a person’s greatest happiness.

Later, I noticed that we often just wasted time. Eventually, I got tired of overeating, and I realized a simple truth: to change yourself, you need to change your habits.

We think in stereotypes and live by habits. Just as our body needs a spine and bones, our consciousness needs stable images to help us respond to the world around us.

Often, a person proclaims their most noble and bright intentions, but does not focus on changing their habits.

So, I kept the socializing but started reducing the amount of food and alcohol. The places where I met my friends became the sauna and the billiard room. The socializing remained, but I added movement, temperature, and physical challenges to it.

Trips to the mountains and the sea started being accompanied by only symbolic meals. This principle—eating less and moving more—I applied to my vacations and all kinds of leisure activities.

Health is, among other things, proper habits. I also changed my driving habits. In the past, I would allow myself to drive when I was very tired.

You can change habits either quickly or gradually. I changed them all at once.

Once, I was driving through St. Petersburg and saw a neon advertisement on the street that included the phrase: «Happiness is not a goal, but a byproduct.»

Some wise person wasn’t stingy in paying for the public to learn this simple truth.

The thing is, those who make pleasure their goal will always be its slave. And health will only be preserved if those pleasures are in moderation.

By the way, one of my patients once told me a mystical story. He had been driving for a long time on a night road. He started feeling sleepy, but he was in a hurry and decided not to stop.

«And then, imagine this,» he told me, «suddenly, I saw headlights in my rearview mirror—high beams. A massive truck was approaching, demanding that I move aside.

I started slowing down and pulled over to the side of the road. But when I looked back, the truck was gone. I stopped and spent a long time trying to figure out where that vehicle had disappeared to.

Only later did it hit me that I hadn’t noticed how I had fallen asleep, and I was supposed to die.

I had dreamed of that truck, the light of its headlights, and the sound of its horn.

And when I started slowing down and pulling off the road, I woke up without even realizing it.»

«That means you were meant to stay alive,» I explained the situation. «If a person has a purpose, miracles often happen to them.»

Miracles happen from time to time, reminding us that the materialistic worldview is only partly true.

However, if a miracle has happened to you and you survived, it's not something you should rely on or take advantage of.

«You know,» I told the patient, «every time a miracle happens to me and I survive a critical situation, I try to change something in my habits, because that miracle might not happen a second time.»

Good health is a result of good habits. If we get used to loving, giving energy, and changing ourselves in the process, we strengthen our health.

What does it mean to give energy? It means being able to accomplish tasks, overcome difficulties, believe in yourself, and not lose hope. It’s about being able to discipline yourself and guide others.

When a habit is just beginning to form, before it becomes stable, it requires an enormous amount of energy. But once established, it operates automatically, and we no longer notice it.

When a person has little love and energy in their soul, they simply lack the strength to form a new habit, and they cannot change.

In nature, everything exists in portions, in quanta. Therefore, any change occurs gradually, in stages.

Even the best of intentions can be ruined if we take on too much at once.

To survive, the body rejects overload, and a person loses the desire to complete the task they set for themselves.

That’s why the process of personal transformation must always be step-by-step.

The most important habit in our lives is the preservation and growth of love in any situation. In fact, the word «preservation» can probably now be replaced by «giving.»

For many years, I spoke about protecting the feeling of love because, for centuries, people have been accustomed to rejecting, suppressing, discrediting, and controlling this feeling.

Now, the situation is finally changing. We are moving from a system of prohibitions to a stage of free flight.

When the feeling of love becomes a reality and the sense of divine will is continuous, then real human transformation becomes possible.

As it is said in the Gospel: «Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.»

Disbelief in oneself, constraint, and suppression of one's feelings are all tools that kill love.

No matter how bad things get, a person will never lose love unless they choose to. And as long as love exists, no situation can be called hopeless or without a way out.

We love the human aspect, and when we lose it, we feel as if we've lost love, which leads to a sense of despair.

But if we suddenly understand that love for this world is only part of the overall energy and love, then, losing human happiness, we simply begin to love the Divine more intensely.

And if the meaning of any situation is drawing closer to God, then neither illness nor death can make the situation hopeless.

A biblical phrase comes to mind: «For in much wisdom is much grief.» Interesting—why is that?

Perhaps because our consciousness is tied to the body, and the body is doomed to decay and disintegration.

The more actively consciousness develops, with the goal of ensuring the well-being of the body, the more painful the process of decay and loss becomes.

We can only touch eternity through our feelings, particularly those that do not depend on our conscious mind.

I analyze my state and come to an interesting conclusion.

When you begin to solve a serious problem, at first you use your conscious mind for orientation and understanding.

That's the first step. On the second step, you have to turn off consciousness; otherwise, fear, despondency, and depression will set in.

Every situation on a subtle level is connected to the entire universe.

When consciousness shifts from the surface to the deeper layers, it leads to a sharp overload and then a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness.

If a person doesn't slow down their consciousness and shift to subconscious control, they will panic at any complex problem.

Psychologists often don't realize this mechanism, yet it’s long been described in Russian proverbs and folk tales.

For example, «A fool grows rich by imagining» or «The morning is wiser than the evening,» meaning, turn off your conscious mind, shift the problem to the subconscious emotional level, don't panic, don't despair—every problem has its solution.

Another one: «The eyes are afraid, but the hands do the work,» meaning laziness and inactivity breed resentment, fear, and despair.

Consciousness is linked to the body and is, in essence, a consumer. A consumer is always dependent on the world, and they tend to become resentful and depressed.

If you offer someone money and they refuse, you won’t fall into depression.

But if you’re expecting money from someone and they don’t give it to you, you start feeling resentful.

And if you're really waiting and hoping, and it doesn’t come, then resentment, judgment, and hatred follow.

Internal aggression comes from consumerism, and the one who cannot forgive is the one focused on consuming.

As soon as giving exceeds consuming, dependence on the world decreases sharply, and resentment is easily forgiven.

The one who gives gains energy, and consequently, their health strengthens. Why does fasting cure almost any disease?

Because the impulse for consumption and dependence is largely maintained through food.

And the more varied, delicious, and plentiful it is, the faster internal energy drops, sensitivity to offense increases, and illness sets in.

Only a few years ago, scientists concluded that overeating leads to diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and reduced vitality.

But religion has been saying this for thousands of years.

Then, observing people, I understood how many become alcoholics. They simply don't know how to disconnect from their problems, how to shut down their consciousness.

Consumerism, laziness, sensitivity to offense, and emotional aggression make consciousness rigid and overly independent. In difficult situations, it can no longer switch off.

A person becomes panicked, falls into despair, and sees only the negative in situations and people.

Only drinking helps them slow down their consciousness, calm their aggressive feelings, and solve the problem normally.

An overactive consciousness will never allow someone to overcome stress. Indeed, «For in much wisdom is much grief.»

When you analyze the past, you distance yourself from the problem and see it from above, as it were. To understand a problem means to detach yourself from the situation.

It's easy to detach from the past, harder from the present. And it’s very difficult to detach from the future, which is becoming the present.

A person tied to a situation—that is, greedy, envious, or despairing—will never figure it out. They will be dependent on the situation and unable to control it.

My research, in essence, is an attempt to reduce dependence on the external world.

And if one doesn’t seek the Creator and change their emotions, character, and soul, it’s simply impossible to overcome such dependence.

S. N. Lazarev, «Diagnosis of Karma, Book 12»

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