Learn to love selflessly
In my youth, I had many issues with men. Several instances of assault. I constantly found myself in bad situations, men were aggressive towards me.
There were always many men around me, and it always ended badly for me. Someone always met or escorted me (friends or my mom). I was scared.
And then someone advised me to mentally put on a black cloak (as if to shield myself from men). I did just that. The assaults and aggression towards me stopped.
Later, when I started reading your books, I realized that I had aggression towards men and problems with sex. I worked a lot on myself, but I am still alone. I tried mentally removing this cloak, but nothing works. I've only added problems for myself. What should I do?
Could you please check if I still have aggression towards men?
P.S. I tried to write this note several times. The ink in the pen ran out at the word «cloak». It got really scary. It's as if I bewitched myself.
Like attracts like. Everything we have ever done remains deep in our subconscious. For example, the greed of our parents and grandparents is within us — and we attract greedy people to ourselves. Like is cured by like. If jealousy runs in the family, then, without noticing it, we will tend to choose friends or spouses who are also jealous. Greed, anger, jealousy — all these are external manifestations of the soul's attachment to human happiness. Where there is lust, jealousy inevitably arises, followed by aggression, which no longer requires an external cause.
Why were girls always raised more strictly than boys?
Because their lack of self-control, leading to attachment, corrupts not only their soul but also passes on to their children and grandchildren. Inner aggression attracts external aggression — it's not just insults and humiliations from men, it's misfortunes and unhappiness in life, it's illnesses in the end. Psychological and magical techniques can be used to avoid misfortunes in life and insults from men; one can even ward off illness. With the help of simple autogenic training, many diseases can be eliminated.
But all this is just getting rid of the consequences of inner disharmony. The cause remains. Attachment and aggression arise imperceptibly. For example, it is enough for a woman to admire a man for many years, repeating that she cannot live without him. During fasting, for example, one must detach oneself from all attachments, restrict oneself in pleasures. Restrictions apply not only to rich and sweet food but also to sexual intercourse. It is even desirable to spend some time alone, as pleasure from communication with another person can also divert one from striving towards God and love for Him.
If the protective mechanism of detachment is not activated, if there is no aspiration towards God, if a woman does not observe the commandments, then she is doomed to the subconscious merging of souls. And this is fatal, and the man, defending himself, breaks the distance in different ways — sometimes he becomes aggressive, sometimes he drinks. Or he starts to have affairs, gets a lover, tries to escape from home, goes fishing more often. Or he gets sick. Attachment always breeds aggression.
At first, this aggression may look like fear of losing a loved one, unwillingness to live in case of their loss, sadness at the thought of possible betrayal, prolonged resentment at their inattention or tactlessness, suspicion, and jealousy. These emotions intensify if we allow ourselves excesses in pleasures — food, alcohol, sex. I won't even mention abortions, improper behavior during pregnancy, disrespect for parents, etc. And then one has to answer for one's aggression.
If a woman strives for God and tries to change but cannot accept purification through a man, she is given a gentle cleansing in the form of a lack of personal life. A family is not formed, suitors leave.
And if a woman does not change, then purification occurs more harshly — through illnesses, troubles, insults from men. If a woman complains about fate and gets angry, one can easily imagine what might come next.
You have the most gentle option. This means that you have indeed started to change. Just do not forget that for any man, a woman with whom he enters into a romance is a potential mother of his future children. If the souls of the children are aggressive, the man intuitively senses danger and does not want their birth.
I think it's time for you not to «work according to the methodology» anymore, but to learn to love, forgive, sacrifice, and find joy in caring for another person. You need to learn to love unconditionally. You need to observe fasts, detach yourself, pray for children. You need to understand that true happiness in the soul does not require a family or a close man.
The main happiness comes from the feeling that God loves us, that we can give Him our love, that we can take care of our soul, filling it with this inexpressible feeling. We can give energy in various forms and directions and experience true happiness in doing so. And when unconditional love settles in your soul, then the feelings that arise in communication with a close person will not pose a threat to you. Pleasure will not turn into attachment, but into love, and then the energy necessary for creating a family and having children will appear.
S.N. Lazarev, «Experience of Survival 1»
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