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22 march 2024

On Happiness and Other Feelings

With our fears, despondency, and grievances, we constantly suppress our own happiness, and then we wonder why we lack it.
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On Happiness and Other Feelings

But let's go back to the events of 1999. They were very instructive for me. First and foremost, this was related to my trip to Paris. The meeting of the second millennium. One of the biggest celebrations in human history. Everyone unites in a single impulse regardless of nationality.

My wife and I decided to celebrate Catholic Christmas in Paris and fly back before New Year's. The better the future seems, the stronger the desire to quickly move there from the present. At that time, I did not know that dreaming of the future, turning into a desire to move there, is a violation of higher laws, a program for the destruction of the present.

What is the meaning of life? To attain the Divine. For this, time needs to be compressed, and it is compressed by emotion. In every emotion, cause is compressed with effect, the future with the present. Therefore, a person is truly happy in those moments when he is pursuing a goal, not when he has achieved it. The goal is achieved, a layer of time is compressed. There is a pulsation, a flash of new, more distant goals, and again the striving towards them. But when we give up the present for the sake of the future, then both the future and the present are destroyed.

The destruction began from the first moments of the journey. First, it turned out that there was only one company's flight available, LKM, which I didn't like. Then, a layover in Amsterdam. There we sat in a draft, caught the Australian flu, and by the time we arrived in Paris, we were already sick. The flu specifically targets desires. You need to explore the city, but you don't feel like it. We barely managed two days.

Right before Christmas, we went for a walk in Paris, climbed up to Montmartre, facing a cold, piercing wind. We walked through Montmartre, and my coat offered no protection from the cold. To warm up, we went into the Sacré-Cœur. Praying people were sitting in the center of the hall, and it was not recommended to enter there. I felt miserable. I thought about having to go back out into the cold street, fearing I would get pneumonia and so on.

«I wouldn't mind dying here», I thought, turning my head, surveying the high walls of the church. «Otherwise, I'll go out, get pneumonia, etc.»

All my dreams and desires seemed so silly and worthless at that moment. I wasn't attracting them, but rather, I was pushing away all my thoughts, all my plans and desires. Gradually, the miserable state dissipated. I stepped outside and suddenly noticed a remarkable change. We walked under the icy wind, but I wasn't cold at all. And then we strolled through the streets of Montmartre as if I were wearing a down jacket. My dreams, fears, grievances, despondency, had all disappeared! To attain the Divine, one must lose the human for a while.

And as soon as we don't prevent our soul from feeling Divine love, it fills us with energy, life, and everything else. I formulated this state as: don't prevent yourself from being happy.

With our fears, despondency, and grievances, we constantly suppress our happiness, and then we wonder why it's missing. After this, I found words that I could say to a patient who was unsuccessfully fighting jealousy. For a woman, one of the main components of happiness is interaction with a loved one.

The death of a loved one, betrayal, or grievance are practically insurmountable without another point of support. But we rely emotionally. And for an emotion to form, primary sensations must be repeated several hundred times.

If you find out that a loved one has been unfaithful or betrayed you, and at that moment you start praying and forgiving, be assured that it won't work and your soul will continue to emit hatred, condemnation, or despondency out of inertia.

But if at the moment of any, even the slightest grievance from your husband, you forget about him and the grievances, turning to God, and do the same during any anxious thoughts, fears, and despondency, then after some time, you will feel in reality how important that eternal love we carry within us is, without which it's impossible to live.

And then you are protected forever. And no one can take this happiness away from you. And it's important not to waste time and use any situation for this. So, at the moment of grievance, stop defending yourself internally, being afraid and regretting. Forget everything and try to feel love for God.

S.N. Lazarev, «Diagnostics of Karma 7»

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