Our feelings create the future of our children
In 1988, I gave birth to a son. The pregnancy went well, but the delivery was rapid.
My father-in-law was my doctor, and to prevent my milk from drying up, I was not disturbed with bad news.
I behaved very strangely in the postpartum ward, as if overwhelmed with joy. I constantly wanted to talk to the women in the ward, and I felt like I had never laughed so much.
When I asked, «Where is my baby and how is he?» the doctors told me everything was fine and taught me how to express milk to ensure I had plenty. I had enough milk for two other babies.
At that time, mothers stayed in the maternity hospital for 5 to 14 days, depending on the condition of the mother and baby.
I was discharged on the fifth day, and my father-in-law immediately told me the truth about the baby’s condition:
«Double asphyxia, overlapping skull bones, a broken clavicle, compressed pelvis, complete lack of reflexes, compressed nose.»
They handed me the baby wrapped in a blanket, put us in a car, and took us to another city to see specialists who were friends of my father-in-law.
There, a neurologist examined him and said:
«Girl, you're still young (I was 19), you don't need a cripple. This child will not be healthy.
Prepare the documents to give up the baby, and don't ruin your life, you will have more children.»
Without a moment's hesitation, I wrapped the baby in the blanket and said I wouldn’t give him up to anyone.
They took me to another hospital to see a pediatrician, and this doctor acted like a true professional.
She did not paint a rosy picture but, after diagnosing, said:
«Everything is in your hands. If you want the child to be alive and healthy, you will have to work hard.»
They admitted us to a children's clinic where almost all the kids had meningitis—a contagious disease that did not affect my son during our stay.
We stayed in the hospital for 21 days. I started feeding my baby, weaning him off the tube, initially «mouth to mouth» through a pipette, then from a penicillin bottle, and finally from a regular bottle before discharge.
The baby lay for 8 hours under IVs in both arms, strapped to boards like he was crucified. During this time, I had to straighten his nose with massage and turn his head every 7 minutes by 5 degrees.
The doctors and nurses helped, teaching me massage techniques and how to align the skull.
During this period, not yet knowing the books of S. N. Lazarev, and not understanding how to behave in such a situation, I felt an unknown and unfamiliar sense of warmth, joy, peace, and grace.
There was no fear or worry about the future, no feeling of fatigue, no regrets, or complaints about fate.
My son is now 21 years old; at two months, he was already like all healthy children, and now he is studying to be an emergency medical technician, aiming to become a doctor.
I tried to return to that feeling, remembering it, but I never succeeded again—there were feelings of flight and joy, but they were different.
Perhaps such a feeling is given only when a person stands at the brink of life and death, at the threshold of transitioning from one state to another.
Perhaps, the higher powers saw and knew that six years after my son’s birth, I would get my hands on S. N. Lazarev's books, that I would work with all my soul to change myself, that I would become different, and my outlook on life would change.
This is what I teach my children now, and I continue to change myself.
The wise were right: the future is not ahead, it is behind us. Maybe one of the pages of my life will help someone.
With gratitude to God…
P.S. My story is completely autobiographical, and I would be glad if you use it in your books and if it helps someone get out of a difficult life situation.
First, about the child. Asphyxia, or trouble with the lungs, indicates the soul's distress due to excessive pride.
Displacement of the skull bones is a humiliation of consciousness, which also points to excessive pride and an over-concentration on consciousness.
A broken clavicle signifies troubles with descendants, indicating heightened subconscious aggression in future children.
A compressed pelvis is a sign that children might not be born at all. A compressed nose is a humiliation of pride.
All this suggests that the parents, especially the mother, had an immense reverence for a prosperous fate and future.
In such cases, there are usually feelings of superiority over others, fear of the future, despondency, and vindictiveness.
Additionally, the concepts of spiritual and material power are perceived as the meaning of life.
The more beautiful, intelligent, and spiritual a woman is, the harsher her character, and the less likely she is to give birth to a healthy child if she lacks faith in God.
The note does not mention some interesting details that might shed light on what happened.
I spoke with this woman, and she told me that since childhood she had felt she had clairvoyant abilities. She used to read cards with great accuracy.
When a person knows their fate, they no longer need to rely on love and faith. Knowledge and the ability to control one's fate become paramount.
For a young, childless woman, an interest in magic, fortune-telling, and healing can turn into a tragedy.
But when the woman received a sick child with practically no future in her arms, she intuitively switched to love.
The readiness to sacrifice, the determination to dedicate her life to the sick child, the absence of fear for the future—all this opened her soul and placed love first.
The mother healed the child not only with external actions but primarily with her internal state.
It is the internal state that determines how effective the therapy will be.
Christ said that the man who buried his talent in the ground would be punished.
A talent is a piece of silver of a certain weight. A talent of silver represents labor, expended effort, and given energy.
Love turns into energy, and those who fear to spend this energy, who do not want to care, sacrifice, and overcome problems, are punished primarily by the degeneration of the soul.
Then their fate and health fall apart.
In the end, the one who is not afraid to love and sacrifice, who does not err in choosing the main life priorities, prevails.
S. N. Lazarev, «Survival Experience, part 1»
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