Secrets of a Happy Family Life

«SECRETS OF A HAPPY FAMILY LIFE»

A letter under this title was sent to our website by a reader.

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Good day. By the age of 22, I had accumulated a considerable set of life indicators to be single and childless: a proud and strong character (additionally, being a Scorpio with a masculine name), a red diploma, a size 5 bust, a reluctance to marry and have children, and a dislike for cooking and cleaning. However, thanks to S.N. Lazarev, who showed me the way to God, and a patient husband, my fate changed incredibly.

Instead of a predicted career ladder and no personal life, I found harmonious relations with my spouse and had two wonderful children. By all outward signs, my future husband was not considered a desirable match – he was a poor guy from the village. No apartment, no car, no education, and a low-paying job as a bricklayer – a perfect match for a proud woman. Yet, he was a sunny and witty person with a heart of gold and always ready to lend a hand. I felt good and warm with him, but I didn't know if I loved him.

A year after we met, I was tested with a fierce passion for another. It was a nightmarish attachment, mutual, but I wanted to end the previous relationship first. Eventually, I left my future husband – and suddenly felt all his emotional pain. That's when I realized I did love him after all.

Two feelings settled in my soul: a heavy love-passion and a gentle love-friendship. When I prayed, the passion temporarily subsided, and it became clear that I truly loved my future husband. On the day of our wedding, two cooing doves sat on our window – a sign I had made the right choice. Of course, life had its difficulties, but despite this, my husband and I have been soulmates for 12 years now. Over the years, our love has only deepened. Gradually, we earned enough for a car, an apartment. In addition to children, my career unexpectedly took off, and I now earn quite well.

Everything I have now, I owe primarily to God, and secondly to S.N. Lazarev. It's great that we have such a wise spiritual guide. I want to share the secrets of a happy family life. Of course, it involves some dialectics.

1. It's essential to see the Divine spark in your husband first and foremost.

This is easiest when you perceive your husband as your most beloved child. Then it's easier to care for him, nurture, and love him without expecting gratitude.

2. Argue properly: only in private, when both are not hungry, sober, and calm.

Express grievances only towards the situation, without personal attacks, not bringing up past sins, not comparing to others, not pressing on sore points. During the conversation, your heart should be filled with love.

3. Don't harbor resentments.

Better tell your husband straightforwardly (he won't get hints and won't guess by himself) how much it hurts and what it would be like if the roles were reversed. Try to reconcile on the same day to go to bed together. Don't constantly threaten divorce or run to your parents. Better take a walk, calm down, and then come back.

4. If your husband is trying to earn money but is not very successful, don't reproach him about finances.

Resorts and new blouses can wait. Look for solutions together. All problems are now shared.

5. Try to respect his parents and relatives.

Let your husband lead, subtly suggesting the best solutions. If you're generally satisfied with your husband, you can overlook his flaws.

6. Be friends with your husband and approach everything with humor.

You can say a lot in jest without offending.

7. Show your husband that you love him in a way that he understands.

Frequently praise and caress him. Sometimes let him socialize with male friends. And at home, he should have his personal corner for relaxation.

8. Subtly make him care for you and the children, then he will love both you and the children more.

Discuss problems, vacations, leisure together. Don't shoulder everything yourself, share responsibilities, ask for help.

9. Have fewer unmarried friends; it's better not to tempt your husband.

10. Take care of yourself and be self-sufficient.

Your husband should always be on his toes, understanding that theoretically, you could survive without him: both materially and morally.

11. Develop and improve your character, and gradually your husband will start changing for the better.

But most importantly, love God more than your husband and children, more than everything and everyone, because God is the primary source of happiness in our life.

Respectfully…

S.N. Lazarev. «Secrets of Family Happiness»