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Survival Experience. Part One (Russian version)

Sergey Nikolaevich Lazarev
Survival Experience. Part One (Russian version)

Survival Experience. Part One (Russian version)

Sergey Nikolaevich Lazarev
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Year 2010

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Sunlight illuminates the sheets of paper, stacked in front of me on the table. Some bear printed text, others handwritten. Each one encapsulates an entire life.

In the past, the main content of these letters and notes was agony, despair, unbearable suffering. Shattered, distorted lives, the death of children and loved ones, incurable diseases. These were letters written on the brink of death. Their main theme was hope for a miracle, for relief from unending misfortunes. A lack of understanding of what was happening, feelings of injustice from fate, bewilderment at betrayals and humiliations by loved ones – these were not just letters, but pure pain.

Years passed, and the essence of the letters changed. Almost all of them now breathe happiness – finally found.

Not everyone writes about love and faith. But love and faith gradually begin to invisibly present themselves in every letter. Words like «misfortune», «catastrophe», «betrayal», «hopelessness» have almost disappeared. They've been replaced by others: «haven't succeeded yet», «still haven't managed», «my beloved made a mistake, let me down».

When you know who you are, where you came from, and where you're going, fear, agony, and despondency gradually disappear. Life becomes a beautiful game, and the main prize in this game is love. We receive this prize periodically. Then, through naivety and an inability to hold on to it, we lose it, and then, after going through trials and suffering, we find it again. And gradually our soul stops depending on the things we once worshipped.

In thoughtfulness, I sort through the notes. I'll need to remove my name and patronymic where possible, exclude names and surnames, so as not to tie the stories to specific individuals, and reduce words of thanks and praise to me, so it's not too sweet. The texts themselves are better left untouched.

Lately, there are more and more notes telling how a person has changed their character, recovered from illnesses. Sometimes there are outright miracles. I should only leave those letters that talk about sequential changes, overcoming one's problems. Miracles are better set aside.

The real miracle is the change in character and worldview. If instead of hatred you managed to feel pity for the offender, if you treat a close person magnanimously who unintentionally offended you, that is the real miracle. If giving becomes more pleasant than receiving, that's also a miracle. To make all this possible, you need to put your soul in order. Only then will love come to the soul and make a person happy. And when the soul is healthy, then the future appears, then fate and physical health are aligned.

I recall a recent conversation with a woman – I spoke with her on the phone. It was a usual consultation, though at a distance. I don't see this woman, don't know who she is. But that's even better, in such cases it's easier to identify the main issue.

-«Please state your problem», I say to her.

-«My child has been diagnosed with intellectual disability».

For a moment, I wonder whether to look at the child's field. First, let's see what's happening with the mother. Switching to internal vision, I see a dismal picture: in the woman's aura – the possible death of the child. This child has no future, so he will live with minimal consciousness activity, which is connected to the future. This could be blindness, deafness, intellectual disability, cerebral palsy. One thing is clear – the illness must be incurable.

If doctors cured the illness, which is essentially a mechanism for saving the soul, the child would have died. Illness is always a consequence. If there is no future, there are two options – incurable illness or death. Of course, there is a third path, previously almost impossible for most. It's faith, love, and voluntary salvation of the soul. But before saving the soul, one must first learn not to kill it. And this woman has a catastrophe with her soul – in my jargon, partial destruction of 7 layers of the soul. It's hard to hold on to love when the soul is in such a state. The woman's survival energy is sufficient, but for her child, there's no energy left. It's amazing that he hasn't died, and it's clear that no medicine will cure him. So, what's really wrong with the woman's soul?

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